Sometimes it is 11:28pm, and this is your second time at the office.
Not because you have no where else to be, but because you either have the opportunity to be a victim of your own disappointment or the product of your stubborn will & success.
I am in the dead heat of launching 3 miscreant toddler brands and establishing an aloof but kind parent company, and they happen to belong to me.
At some point in the last 13 months, I have grown extremely weary of running my career with a fire extinguisher in my messenger bag for the ‘just in case’ element that has become my everyday life.
I spent so much time running away from what I thought was a behemoth (it being Corporate America), that I missed the gorgeousness of how processed and orderly it allowed business to be. That is of course if its unwieldy CEO’s and owners allowed it to do the job it was meant to do.
I consider my ideas my children.
I have not yet been blessed to be anyone’s mother.
However, with all the let downs, bold face endeavors, defiance, remarkable love, midnight hugs and silent gestures that let me know I am too am adored, I have truly found a calling in being a matriarch. Being a inexperienced mother to a host of cacophonous firecrackers dressed as half bred startup notions has grown me, in ways my skin wasn’t prepared to stretch for.
My brand as a poet is growing.
My notepad in my iPhone is full.
& the last time I had the moment to actually sit down and pen a feeling, I made the elegant decision to write a pipeline list.
Accessorized with reminder bullets to pay ATT mobile, call my attorney, send my mother an email and some illegible scratch about the water and power bill at my home that I do not spend enough time in or at.
I say all that to say, I am not complaining about the work, the frequency of it, or the thrill of not ever knowing what is truly next.
I say - it is growing.
Some mornings, right out of the new pants I just purchased for it.
Some evenings, it grows in heft as the mass I can’t quite identify but can only state the the enormous amount of pressure its growth has placed on my heart.
Some Mondays, the growth looks a lot like my fiancé, beautiful, full of sun light - kind hearted and bursting with intrigue, questions to be answered and sincere compliment.
The job my mother told me didn’t exist, being a poet - in fact does. And this gig, has me at my office at 11:38pm at night. Alas, Octavia told me “Azure you can do anything you put your mind to” and she was right. Apparently I have set my mind to drive the last little bit of sanity right out of my viewpoint. Such is life, such is grist and such is the poem that I am still trying to find time to write.
I cannot give much more detail about my day to day as a new CEO, as I think it would cause my small readership to be microscopic (smile). I will say that I have officially hired employees - moved my office from downtown angel city to a little piece of sound stage named, San Marino and my commute is 11 minutes on a good day, 14 minutes on a bad one. I will boldly tell you, I am learning, the nuance of net 30, glory or having an administrator proficient in Quickbooks and being blessed enough to have a team of sweet spirited dynamos to work with on the days when 10 hours inevitably turns to 18.
The name of my parent company is Antoinette & Marie Holdings. Antoinette is still just me, and Marie is the middle name of the two women in my life who bookend my history and future, my sister and the love of my life. A&M is behaving, she is conducting herself with the sense that none of her subordinates have.
The crown terror is our re-designed apparel brand.
What a terribly handsome storm this is.
But who I am kidding, I love how lighting dances in the sky and I have always been a hollowed harlot for ballads in the rain.